Negotiating difference with curiosity not fear
Intelligence is less something we possess and more what we cultivate through relationships, self-awareness and intentional action, says Nathalia Rayes, former US ambassador to Croatia, in her foreword to Upwilling
While titles change, one lesson remains constant: our greatest achievements are rarely the result of intelligence alone. They come from our willingness to engage, to learn, to adapt, to connect and to keep moving forward even when the path is uncertain. That is why this book resonated with me so deeply.
We live in a world that often celebrates expertise, credentials and technical knowledge. Those things matter. But as I have learned sitting across negotiating tables, leading organisations, mentoring young leaders and representing the United States abroad, knowledge alone is not what builds trust, inspires action or creates meaningful change.
What matters just as much is our capacity to understand ourselves and others. Our ability to navigate differences with curiosity rather than fear. Our willingness to listen before speaking, to seek common ground without abandoning our values and to remain human in moments that test our patience, confidence and conviction.
The framework presented in these pages offers a powerful reminder that leadership is not simply about what we know. It is about how we show up. It is about emotional intelligence, cultural intelligence, conversational intelligence, collaboration, purpose and the choices we make every day to engage with the world around us.
As someone whose career has been built on building bridges between communities, cultures, sectors and nations, I have seen firsthand that progress happens when people are willing to move beyond assumptions and engage with one another authentically. The most effective leaders are not always the loudest voices in the room. They are often the people who create space for others to be seen, heard and valued.
I was particularly drawn to the book’s emphasis on purpose. In challenging moments, motivation comes and goes. Titles come and go. Circumstances change. What sustains us is a deeper sense of meaning and a clear understanding of why our work matters.
This book invites readers to reflect on that question while offering practical tools to strengthen both personal and professional leadership. It challenges us to think differently about intelligence – not as something we possess, but as something we cultivate through relationships, self-awareness and intentional action.
At a time when technology is transforming how we work, communicate and lead, this message feels more important than ever. The future will belong not only to those who are knowledgeable, but to those who can remain curious, connected, adaptable and deeply human. I hope these pages inspire you as much as they inspired me.
• Nathalie Rayes is former US ambassador to the Republic of Croatia. She wrote the foreword to ‘Upwilling: Creating the magic of we in uncertain times’ by Iva Biodnic, Novaro Publishing, September 2026. Further details here or at novaropublishing.com/upwilling.
